Labour

You log on to find the sun rising behind a green field. With Blair long gone, long live Brown. New Labour becomes Old Labour and the party trades on its roots as the voice of the common people. Labour is 'standing up for the many,' which sounds like sponsored wackiness for charity. The party also promises to 'strengthen fairness in communities,' whatever that is supposed to mean.  

TONGUE TWISTING

'A future fair for all' booms the website. If Brown and co presided over a decade that was more 'free for all' than 'fair for all' you can't blame the party's media managers for promising a future of equality. What else can they say? 'Vote for us and we'll destroy the economy again'? 'Vote for us for even more war'? All the parties are into fairness right now and Brown's Labour government has to hide behind one mantra or another. 'A future fair for all' might be meaningless rhetoric, but at least it has the virtue of being a quasi-tongue twister.   

PROMISES, PROMISES

The Labour party website looks pared down, as if the people behind it have had to make do and mend. 'Look', it says, 'we are now so prudent even our website is at the vanilla end of the online spectrum.' The pledges are what first catch the eye, listed as they are, high up on the homepage, next to the sunrise image. The party will 'secure the recovery'and 'raise family living standards' and ... you get the picture. 'We're going to do stuff,' Labour say. 'Not like those Tories.'

A homepage highlight is a short video of cabinet ministers cold calling the public; cue stories about happy pensioners and strong support for Brown's economic plans. In her commentry to the video Yvette Cooper waffles on and on about talking to people until you start to long for her to never say again say another word in public.

9 April 2010