Fathers and Broken Families

It is often fathers who are the victims of broken families. Access to their children is limited, and if their ex-spouse moves away, contact with children can be intermittent or lost.

Sue Secker, for Families Needs Fathers, explains the work of the charity and the information being given out to all divorsing parents in the hope of redressing the imbalance of a broken home.

For the Sake of the Children: The FNF Guide to Shared Parenting

Families Need Fathers (FNF) is a registered charity dedicated to ‘Keeping children and parents in contact’. For over 25 years it has been the main provider of both practical and emotional support for families trying to make sense of life during and after divorce or relationship breakdown. Every year FNF receives thousands of requests for help, mainly from fathers, their friends and families. With the increasing number of international marriages, enquires from overseas are also becoming more common.

People call when they realise they or their family risk losing contact with dearly loved children. At such times, most support services tend to focus on mothers and children, and fail to involve fathers, especially if they live elsewhere. Being apart from children can therefore be an isolating experience, especially for men. Discovering that others are sharing similar concerns is often a lifeline.

Much-needed support is offered at FNF local branch meetings in some areas, and through a network of telephone contacts, all run by volunteers. FNF also produces a range of publications and has a comprehensive website at www.fnf.org.uk/guide.htm. Parents facing difficult choices need access to information and advice at the earliest possible moment, preferably before taking steps to formally end a relationship, or agreeing to what may become unsatisfactory or unworkable arrangements for continuing care of children.

New Guide for Families
The forthcoming membership guide For the Sake of the Children was funded by a Family Support Grant from the Home Office Family Policy Unit. It is based on the experiences of FNF members past and present and aims to help parents make their own positive and realistic decisions about their family situation. It will be of interest to anyone wanting to ensure children get the best of both parents’ worlds after family breakdown.

The guide is an introduction to the realities of life after family breakdown for the parent (usually but not always the father) most likely no longer considered part of ‘the family’. It deals specifically with the problems the parent apart may face, and is aimed at ensuring children retain the best possible relationship with both their parents, especially at a time when they need all the love and security they can get.

The advice offered is practical rather than idealistic: families have to face the world as it is now, not as it could be. Alas, there is no ‘magic wand’ nor a simple answer to every family problem, but there is a powerful message of encouragement for anyone who has ‘lost’ part of their family:

Don’t ever give up hope

The guide will be available from Families Need Fathers and other outlets early in the New Year. All enquires/reservations via FNF National Office 020 7613 5060, or visit the FNF website guide preview at www.fnf.org.uk/guide/htm (there is also a link to an article describing the background research, and the shared parenting principles upon which the guide is based).