Difficult Teenagers

Since turning 13 my son has become a classic teenager - monosyllabic and at times very rude to us when we try to instill discipline. I am worried that he is getting into a bad crowd at school, which is influencing his behaviour. He fails to understand we are still his parents - how can we lay down the law and remain friends? B. Morris, Dulwich

Are you certain that his moods are due only to his age? Of course, nobody ever said it was easy to have a teenager in the house, but I do wonder if perhaps there is something else worrying him? There really is a great deal of pressure on kids today, and they often have to deal with very adult issues long before they are emotionally ready to do so. Sex, drugs and forthcoming exams can be a heavy load for any young boy or girl to carry. Are these issues you have discussed with him? Have you spoken to the school at all? They need to know about your concerns and they may have some suggestions.

However much your son rages against your discipline you are, as you say, still his parents. He needs to know where you draw the line and, although it may be hard to accept, he will actually feel safer if you stick to a curfew or whatever the issue is. He may act like a sullen adult, but he is still very young. Hang on in there. Thirteen-year-olds do grow up, and your much loved son is in there somewhere.