Computer Addiction

Q. How can I persuade an intelligent 11-year-old boy that playing outside in
the sunshine is better than sitting in front of the computer? Fran Wright, Leicester

Childcare Specialist, Hilary Bassett, replies: As always the best place to start if you want to change something is with yourself. Once you are clear in your mind that your misgivings about too much computer time are justified, your `persuasion' will carry a lot more conviction.

I say persuasion, but what we are talking about here is rules. At the age of 11, your boy needs to know that you are still firmly in charge. You could simply set limits to the amount of time he spends on the computer just as, hopefully, you limit his TV watching. So your question suggests
that you, like many parents, are reluctant to do this because you are secretly impressed by this new tool with its immense capacity to teach and expand horizons. You may be impressed with your son's mastery of it, which, unless you have been trained, is likely to be vastly superior to yours!

But computers are no different to any other great invention: like the printed word and TV they can be used to inspire or corrupt. It's highly unlikely that at 11, your son has the judgement to know the difference between developing his brain and strengthening his spirit. The first is important, the second, in this world of teenage drugs, drinking and other temptations, is essential.
The best computer games may be excellent training for logic and concentration, but they are none the less addictive for all that. The worst offer mindless escapism of a kind which ultimately leads to inner emptiness and self-disgust. Even chat rooms and web-surfing, unless directed to an
end, can be a waste of time. And while you don't want to pressure your boy into being an achiever every minute, these years of development need careful attention if he is to grow into a balanced human being.

Periods of outdoor play, exercise and exploration feed the body and soul in more ways than we may be aware of. For one thing, they invite companionship. This is where proactive parenting is required. Your son is far more likely to co-operate willingly with your rules if you provide attractive, structured alternatives. The gold standard would be that you spend more quality time with him yourself, and it's essential to do that when you can. Boys, especially, benefit from sharing activities with parents because it gives them the chance to open up and talk about their feelings, which girls generally find easier to do. This building of bonds will smooth his transition into puberty as nothing else can.

Make an effort to get friends over to play, and see that he has the right gear - skate boards, roller blades, basketball, bicycles all help in terms of having fun and building relationships. You don't have to spend a fortune. Of course if you can arouse his interest in a hobby, so much the better. Mastery and special knowledge will give him confidence and kudos, while the building of social skills such as the giving and receiving of information will chase away shyness. And then he can join a chat room to some purpose, so that he will be using the tool instead of it using him. Two more points, if your son still needs convincing:
1.The risk of becoming addicted to computers is real - the American Psychological Association estimates that about six per cent of on-liners are addicts. They use it as a crutch just as others use drugs or alcohol to avoid having to deal with life's challenges. It can be an easy habit to slip into.
2. According to a report by the National Radiological Protection Board, a British Government watchdog, exposure to electromagnetic fields from domestic appliances such as computers can cause severe memory loss. Their published report shows that the fields damage short-term memory in mice, lengthen the time taken to learn tasks and can lead to confusion. Zenon Sienkiewicz, the author, said he believed the fields created tiny electrical currents in the brain that interfered with the creation of memories: "The effect seems to work by disabling the neurons that turn experiences into memories." Not much point in developing your brain if you cook it too, is there?